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Choose Your Boss Carefully
Attentive listening and trusting your gut
can prevent working for a toxic employer.
Clues to recognize before you interview.
Kevin* would be the first to say that in
his enthusiasm to land a position at a pain clinic, he ignored
an important warning sign during his interview. Married with a
two-year-old son and another child on the way, he found the
small, friendly Midwestern community a perfect environment for
his growing family. Since he had recently completed a pain
fellowship, the thought of working in a practice where he could
have an immediate impact was exciting.
The clue that Kevin overlooked was
right there in his interview with his soon-to-be boss, the
medical director of the center. Or, rather, it was out in the
hallway where the medical director excused himself to deal with
a patient issue. Although he doesn’t recall the exact
words, Kevin clearly remembers the medical director using a
“loud, sarcastic, demeaning tone” with an unseen
staff person. Kevin never treated staff that way and it was
disconcerting to him to hear the one-sided conversation. He
says that the incident definitely made him feel uncomfortable.
But, as Kevin recalls, the medical director was very personable
during the remainder of the interview. Later that day, the
center’s practice manager even pulled Kevin aside to
apologize for the medical director, making a point to tell
Kevin that this had been a particularly stressful day and
asking him not to take that into account in making his
decision. Much to his regret, Kevin didn’t.
Seduced by the attractive
possibilities of both practice and community, Kevin
didn’t make any further inquiries into the medical
director’s demeanor or the day-to-day work atmosphere at
the center. He accepted the offer based on that single site
visit and eagerly made arrangements to move his family and to
begin what he hoped would be a rewarding part of his career.
Sadly, the mean-spirited tone Kevin
heard in the hallway was a regular part of the medical
director’s communications repertoire. This boss yelled at
everyone on the staff, consistently and publicly berating them
with comments like: “I could take anyone off the
street and they would do a better job than you! And be smarter
than you!” Within a few months, the director started
openly humiliating Kevin as well. After Kevin’s billing
declined (brought about by the medical director changing the
patient mix), his employer made sarcastic remarks to the nurses
about “having to subsidize” Kevin. Perhaps
predictably, the medical director’s destructive
personality carried over into underhanded business practices.
Kevin was actually relieved when the medical director finally
terminated his employment after three years.
Kevin was so traumatized by the
experience that he has worked locum tenens for the past five
years specifically to avoid the risk of placing his fortunes in
the hands of another toxic boss.
As Stan Wynett, a regular
contributor to the National Business Employment Weekly and the
author of The Job Hunter’s Crystal Ball (Adams
Publishing, 2006) says, “Whenever you are looking for a
new job, you are also—whether you like it or
not—looking for a new boss.” Sadly, toxic bosses
are a fact of life. In a perfect world, everyone would work for
a boss who is fair, considerate, and thoughtful, but not all
bosses are built that way. Some are aggressive, paranoid,
narcissistic, rigid, or unethical. Some so poison the work
environment that they can have deleterious effects on both your
emotional well-being and your career.
Obviously, the best course would be
to avoid working for a tyrannical boss in the first place. The
$64,000 question, though, is how can you possibly know what
kind of boss you’ll be getting before you accept the
offer?
Keep your ears wide open
Careful listening is a great place
to start. Sure, your first instinct is to make a good
impression so you’ll get the job, but you should also pay
close attention to what your prospective employer is saying and
how he is saying it. If you spend some time and mental energy
evaluating the person sitting across the table from you, you
just might find that you don’t want this job after all.
Wynett says that “responsive
listening takes practically no talent or brains. Being a good
listener encourages your interviewer to open up to you. To an
attentive listener, interviewers will almost always volunteer
more information about the job than they intended. There is no
limit to what you can learn by listening and asking
questions.”
Tory Johnson, the CEO of Women for
Hire, a company specializing in the recruitment of women from
various fields, agrees. Johnson has advised asking prospective
bosses direct but non-threatening questions. She has said that
one of the best questions you can ask is why is the position
vacant? Ask about the turnover in the department, office, or
hospital. If the position is vacant because someone’s
been promoted, that’s a great sign. However, if the
response is they’ve had trouble keeping someone, warning
bells should sound.
Of course, as we all know, sometimes
it’s not what is said, but how it’s said that makes
all the difference. To this end, Roy Lubit, MD, PhD, an
executive coach and the author of Coping with Toxic Managers,
Subordinates. . . and Other Difficult People (Prentice Hall,
2004) suggests asking straightforward questions about something
simple such as past business growth and carefully observing
whether the prospective boss’s answer has more of
“we did this” or “I did this.”
In other words, is the boss
narcissistic or anxious to share credit? Like Johnson, Lubit
says to ask about the person who previously held the position
and then listen to whether the boss “bashes the person or
soft-pedals” the reason the job is now open. According to
Lubit, aside from listening to the actual information offered
in response, you should always be looking for any signs of
“anger or self-centeredness” coming from an
interviewer.
Lubit says that what you are doing
when you ask a question about something like past business
growth is the same thing the interviewer is probably doing to
you—it’s called behavioral event interviewing. By
asking a person to discuss a specific event, the questioner has
the opportunity to gain insights based not only on what is said
in response, but how it is said. Does an eagerness to blame
others show up in the answer? Is there a hint of anger or
jealousy? Is she overly defensive in talking about turnover
among staff?
If you sense a lot of negative
emotions in what you’re hearing, you may want to keep
walking when you leave the interview.
Listen to your gut
What if there just wasn’t a good
opportunity for you to do much “behavioral event
interviewing” or you simply don’t hear any
tell-tale clues that this particular boss is an ego-maniac or a
workplace bully? No matter, because you’ve surely had
time during the interview to form a “gut reaction”
to this boss and, believe it or not, you should trust your
instincts when it comes to figuring out whether you can work
collegially with this person.
Lubit recommends trying something he
calls the Pittsburgh Airport Test. “Imagine that you and
your interviewer are stranded at the airport in Pittsburgh
during a snowstorm,” he says. “Would you a) try to
hide so he can’t find you because the thought of spending
time with this person is so terrible; b) get a drink and hope
for the best; or c) hope it doesn’t stop snowing because
this is a fun person to be with.” An honest answer to
this imagined scenario could tell you all you need to know.
Think relying on your intuition is a
bit simplistic? Perhaps so, but it turns out that your
intuition, also referred to as “the adaptive
unconscious,” is a powerful and surprisingly accurate
predictor of the behavior of others.
In his bestselling book Blink
(Little, Brown and Company, 2005), Malcolm Gladwell writes
about an experiment in which students were given three
10-second videotape clips of a teacher and were then asked to
rate the teacher’s effectiveness. These ratings, based on
a mere 30 seconds of total viewing, predicted with a great
degree of accuracy the ratings these same teachers received
from students after a whole semester. In fact, even when the
students were shown just two seconds of videotape, the ratings
were still strikingly consistent with the semester-long
ratings.
The simple fact is that we almost
instantaneously analyze most things that we see. In his book
Intuition: Its Powers and Perils (Yale University Press,
2002), psychology professor David Meyers describes an
experiment in which people evaluated an image of a face or an
object after seeing it for just 200 milliseconds. Since
it’s difficult to imagine an interview lasting less than
200 milliseconds, make it a point to pay attention to what your
“adaptive unconscious” tells you about the person
waxing on about the great career opportunity this job presents.
Don’t fret that you’re making a snap judgment. The
fact is, you do it all the time, and it can be a valid way of
making reasonable and appropriate personal decisions.
* a pseudonym
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